The Big Dipper

Unless you've been living under a rock or in a cave - like a bear - there's a good chance you've heard about Pizza Hut's "Big Dipper" pizza. Basically, for those bears out there who have been living in a cave, it's a sauceless pizza that's cut into breadstick-like slices. Instead of putting pizza sauce on the pizza, they give you four little cups of warm marinara so you can have all the dipping fun you can stand. In my case, this wasn't much.

A good idea in theory. In practice? Not so much.

I don't know if their marinara and pizza sauce are the same thing, but I do know they taste different to me. That may be just because the sauce on the pizza got baked. Either way, dipping this sauceless pizza in marinara makes it taste just a little "off".

Then there's the temperature problem. The little cups of marinara get cold faster than the pizza does, so pretty soon you're dipping warm pizza breadstick things into cold sauce. Not my idea of an ideal combination.

Did I mention you get four little cups of marinara? That's great, unless you're feeding five people. Then you run into the dreaded problem of "How am I going to get the right amount of sauce on this stupid thing without double dipping?". Everyone knows that double dipping is like waging germ warfare. You just don't do it. You might as well grab a bat and bludgeon your friends and family to death if you're going to double dip. It's that bad. Everyone says so. But you have to do it if you don't want to just eat sauceless pizza breadsticks, and, let's face it, you really don't want to do that. So you watch for your chance to dip again when no one's watching, and, inevitably, someone notices and they get all upset and tell you how much of an ass you are for double dipping and everyone hears and no one wants to touch the sauce anymore. Now everyone who still wants to eat has to eat sauceless pizza breadstick things. Not that anyone has an appetite left after you got caught double dipping. They're too busy wondering how long it'll be before your germ warfare kills them. Good job. You just ruined it for everyone, you selfish jerk.

That last paragraph got a little out of hand.

Anyway, like I was saying, the Big Dipper may look like a good idea on paper, but I won't be ordering it again.

Now "House" is on, so I've got to go.

Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

I hate winter. I wish I were a bear. Then I could get away with sleeping through it. On the other hand, I'd have to sleep outside in a cave or den or wherever it is bears hibernate. And eat raw fish. And garbage. And carrion. I'd also have to fight with bears!

Ok. I don't want to be a bear. Mostly because bears don't have internet. Or computers. Or video games. Or movies. Or books. Poor bears.

There should be a book drive for bears. Life without books would be horrible. Next time you sit down to read a book, think about the poor bears out there in the woods with nothing to read.

Bored

MY SHINY NEW TOY

Well here is my shiny new toy.  It should hold its appeal for all of about a week. Then it will disappear like a fart in the wind. I'm not talking about one of those nasty industrial farts that hugs the ground and kills all the grass around for 50 feet in every direction. You know the kind, and you know that no amount of wind will get them to move away fast enough. No. I'm talking about a normal-person fart that only stinks for a second and is never thought of again.

You see, the problem is that blogs take creativity, effort and time.  I'm sorely lacking in the creativity department. Maybe this will just turn out to be a site where I list links to people who actually are creative. Time could be a problem with my weird work schedule, and I tend not to put forth a lot of effort in things I'm fairly sure are going to be useless.

If I can ever think of a use for this thing, it might stick around for a while. I could use it as a place to rant about things that annoy me, but, since I'm likely to be the only one to ever see it, that might be pointless. Or I could use it to post my uber-cool stick figure scribbles, but even I don't want to look at them once they're done.

I'll have to give it some thought if I get time at work to think about anything other than work.

See? Could it suck any more? That's about the extent of my artistic talent. I guess It's a good thing I'm the only one who will ever see this.